she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
