I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Bring me that man meat
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
