I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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