Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
