he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
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The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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