Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
