I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
