I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
