quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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