Kiss
Puke
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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