Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
