oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
