Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You were trust falling into bushes
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
