I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
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i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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