I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
