When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
