he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
