hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
