wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
