so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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