best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
