it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
