I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
