You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
