I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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