I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
