so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
