You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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