I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
