Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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