The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We are all done wearing pants today
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
