She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize