can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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