Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
