After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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