your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
