so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
