At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
