i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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