The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
