that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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