dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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