I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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