So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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