So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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