U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
