do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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