we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
