Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
