Porn is love you can see.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
