life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
