Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
