I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
me + whiskey = a bad person
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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