he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
