this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
