I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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