I accidentally burped into my bong.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
