Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
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