I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
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