I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
