i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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