Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
